‘How to Love a Black Woman’

01.19.2013, 1:58 PM

…is the topic of a panel discussion on January 23 at Hampton University’s National Center on African American Marriages and Parenting. Linda Malone-Colon, executive director of the center, is also a senior fellow here at the Institute.

 This informative, timely, provocative and inspirational community discussion will explore how “black women need and deserve to be loved: honestly, respectfully, carefully, wholeheartedly and completely.”

The discussion will include topics such as: true love, intimacy, gender roles, media and other pop culture influences, romance and commitment, physical beauty and spirituality.

Learn more.

12 Responses to “‘How to Love a Black Woman’”

  1. ki sarita says:

    doesn’t seem very scholarly oriented, I’m surprised it’s being hosted by a university department.

  2. Kevin says:

    Black women have love needs that differ from other women, or from men? Really?!

    I guess I’m a black woman: I also want to be loved “honestly, respectfully, carefully, wholeheartedly and completely.”

  3. Hernan says:

    I am stuck coming up with a good way to respond to the sneering of Ki and Kevin’s comments. I’ve got lots of aggressive and angry ways to do it… This is the least bad I’ve got right now.

    I am not going to defend THIS particular panel, but as a genral rule, if one truly wants to reach a scholarly understanding family life in America, one is obligated to examine the lives and history of black families and black women as part of it.

    Black women want and need the same thing out of love that we all do, but it IS worth studying their historical and cultural EXPERIENCES of love, marriage, and family to understand both the similarities and the differences.

  4. ki sarita says:

    Agree with Hernan. I’m all for culture specific studies. My comment is addressing this specific event, after clicking on the link to the program description. Not on the title alone because sometimes folks choose ill matched titles in marketing over-zeal.

  5. ki sarita says:

    With the exception of the moderator, the panelists seem to have been chosen for charisma and/or celebrity status and not for serious research. The way the participants are marketed is also in distinctly lay terms.

    I have the same complaint about this website btw, it is predominantly a lay persons discussion. Nothing wrong with that but the title isn’t honest.

  6. Mont D. Law says:

    My objection to this is the collectivist nature of the enterprise. Nobody loves a black woman or a white woman, they love a particular woman. They don’t live, parent or go to sleep at night with a black woman, but with a woman who hates strawberries, loves orchids and worries about how her hair will look in the morning. Nobody loves anybody based on their colour.

  7. Diane M says:

    Could we all take a chill pill? Hampton University is an historically black university. Guess what? They want to talk about black women.

    We live in a world where things like color and gender matter. Sometimes we need to talk about them. Being a black woman in America is a different experience from being a white woman or a black man.

    I’m sure some of the talks will touch on universal issues – we all want love and respect, but some will be about issues that matter to black women and men.

    @Mont D Law – I hope my husband loves me for the content of my character, but I assure you when I go to sleep at night I am a white woman. My skin does not change color overnight. And while it is harder to recognize if you are white, given the society we live in, this is part of my identity and it affects my personality.

  8. Mont D. Law says:

    {And while it is harder to recognize if you are white, given the society we live in, this is part of my identity and it affects my personality.}

    So your husband loves you more because you’re white? Better? Differently? Less? How does your white identity and white personality effect the way your husband loves you? What would be different if you were black? If he was?

  9. kisarita says:

    there is something known as african american culture, and this program seems ro assume its not too critical

  10. Diane M says:

    @ki sarita – I’m not sure why you think the program isn’t talking about African American culture. One of the panelists has written about “ending the war between black men and women” and parenting for African Americans. The poet’s work includes video poetry about African Americans. The minister is getting a doctorate in African American church leadership. The woman putting together the panel researches issues of “identifying protective and risk factors for African Americans in developing satisfying and stable marital relationships.”

    It looks like an interesting panel. I’m not sure why people are so critical of it.

  11. Diane M says:

    @Mont D Law – I think the claim that you love an individual person without loving their race doesn’t make sense. Race is part of you, the individual that you are. It’s not just your hair color. That’s the world that we live in.

    Mostly, though, I think it makes no sense to complain if scholars at an historically black college want to talk about love and African American women without having to talk about love and white women.

    It makes perfect sense to me that African American women have different experiences than white women and that they might actually need some things white women don’t.

    But don’t ask me about it. Go to the conference or read some of what they’re saying.

  12. ki sarita says:

    by not too critical I meant not too intellectually rigorous.