The M.Guy Tweet

05.28.2011, 1:28 PM

Marriage Media

Week of May 23, 2011

Courtesy of Bill Coffin

1. Six Research-Proven Habits for Happy Marriages, Hitched

“Research proves that anyone can have a happy, successful marriage. Use these tips to make it a reality.”

2. Call for Participants in Research Study on Unemployment and Marriage, Indiana State University

“I am a doctoral candidate in the Counseling Psychology program at Indiana State University.  I am conducting a study on how unemployment impacts martial quality in the current economy.  Through you and your partner’s participation, I hope to develop a better understanding of married couples’ needs and how psychologists can best serve them. Following is a brief questionnaire. . . It should take about 10 minutes for you to complete.”

3. Sexual Economics: The Forces Shaping How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Marry, Heritage Foundation Event

“The social consequences of unwed childbearing and delayed marriage make the sexual and relational decisions of emerging adults particularly significant for the future of marriage and family in America. To better understand what motivates the sexual decisions of these young people, researchers Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker assemble comprehensive survey data and illuminating personal stories in their new book, Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think about Marrying.”

4. The Public Renders a Split Verdict on Changes in Family Structure, Pew Research Center

“The American public is sharply divided in its judgments about the sweeping changes in the structure of the American family that have unfolded over the past half century. About a third generally accepts the changes; a third is tolerant but skeptical; and a third considers them bad for society.”

“This finding emerges from an analysis that the Pew Research Center conducted of responses to a survey in which a nationally representative sample of 2,691 adults were asked whether they considered the following seven trends to be good, bad or of no consequence to society: more unmarried couples raising children; more gay and lesbian couples raising children; more single women having children without a male partner to help raise them; more people living together without getting married; more mothers of young children working outside the home; more people of different races marrying each other; and more women not ever having children.”

5. Saudi Arabia University Program Aims to Combat Divorce, HuffPost Divorce

“King Saud University in Riyadh is holding a program designed to combat the rising rate of divorce in the Kingdom, said by official statistics to have reached 66 cases a day.”

“Al-Sharq Al-Awsat Arabic daily reported that the program, which is due to commence within two weeks, will offer guidance to soon-to-be-married students on ‘emotional development’ and how to ‘generate love’ in married life in order to ‘achieve happiness and avoid the problems that can lead to separation.’”

6. Strengthening Families Summit June 8-9, Wichita, Kansas

“The event will gather together national, regional and state experts, policy makers, community leaders, and social service practitioners and clinicians who are committed to taking informed action to help strengthen Kansas families. The summit is designed to collect the latest research on the social and economic impact of healthy family relationships, learn about current evidence-based practices to strengthen families, and build new connections for state and community collaboration.”

7. Review of Last Week: Learning More about the Coalition for Divorce Reform

“There’s bound to be opposition. And plenty of people will claim you’re trying to take away their right to divorce under no-fault that exists now in all 50 states, in some for as many as 40 years. What are your thoughts on this?”

“Chris: Children must have rights, too. It should not be easier to get a divorce than a driver’s license. We know the devastating consequences of divorce on children so we owe it to the children to slow down the divorce process and give kids a fighting chance to grow up in intact two-parent families. If a couple is set on divorce, our legislation won’t stop them; it will just slow down the process and hopefully save marriages.”

To learn about the Coalition of Divorce Reform, see this site.

For more, see this site.

3 Responses to “The M.Guy Tweet”

  1. Marilynn Huff says:

    on ending no fault divorce….
    But every contract allows the parties to terminate the relationship without the other party being at fault…there are penalties of course but people always have a legally enforceable way out of a contract.

    In marriage you could not really make it a financial penalty since the object of the contract was not offering a service in return for consideration. I suppose the penalty is having to divvy up the marital assets and that seems fair.

    I’m not sure that I understand what would happen if they ended no fault divorce. The spouses have an obligation to financially support each other right up until the divorce is finalized at which point their obligation of a shared financial burden is over.

    Even though I’ve been terribly cheated on I can look at the laws objectively and see where it would be wrong to say a man had to financially support a woman after a divorce just because he cheated, there are so many subtle nuances like maybe she’s frigid and heartless you just don’t know.

    Making it harder for people who don’t want to be married to get divorced turns marriage from something beautiful and mutually desirable into an ugly burden, a cage. Its only beautiful when people are free to go but opt not to.

    Alls fair in love and war.

  2. nobody.really says:

    Check out that Heritage Foundation session on “Sexual Economics: The Forces Shaping How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Marry.” Maggie Gallagher even asks the first follow-up question! Among the themes I discerned:

    1. Market forces, not “morality,” drive behavior; exhorting people to change their behavior is not likely to produce much result in the absence of changes in the market dynamics.

    2. Historically women – especially those with high status — exercised a cartel on sex, withholding the supply in order to increase the price (in terms of commitment of marriage) that men would offer. This cartel would be enforced by fears of pregnancy, disease, and stigma, while the commitment might be enforced by expensive engagement rings and a shotgun. These mechanisms tended to make the price of sex high, and combined the market for sex with the market for marriage.

    Various changes have depressed the price of sex. Starting with the pill, the various enforcement mechanisms have atrophied. Also the supply of high status women (those in college) has increased relative to the supply of high-status men. In addition, high-quality substitutes – in the form of internet porn – have become widely available.

    Any woman is free to withhold sex until marriage, just as any homeowner is free to refuse to sell until he gets the price he could have demanded in 2007. But there is a substantial likelihood that no takers will emerge.

    3. Consequently people are able to have sex at ever lower prices, and the market for sex has diverged from the market for marriage. This has tended to strengthen the bargaining position of men relative to women.

    4. At the same time, women have learned to value independence from men, especially economic independence. And given the relative supply of high-status women to men, ever more women are electing to defer marriage longer – and often indefinitely. Where domestic life is concerned, this has tended to strengthen the bargaining position of women relative to men. Women are able to assume the role of mother and head of household. But low-status men, unable to fulfill the role of bread-winner, are increasingly excluded from the role of father.

    5. Traditional marriage may be becoming an ill-fitting institution, like butlers — something only the affluent can afford to maintain. Monogamy is a sacrifice made by people who most care about social stigma and maintaining a stable environment in which to raise kids. Consequently, today people with high status may be having fewer sex partners than people with lower status – an inversion of the pattern presumed to exist throughout history (and that still exists in many governors’ mansions).

    6. What advice do fathers give their high-status daughters today? No emotional attachments until you’ve settled on a career! Their daughters will succeed by their own merits, provided they are nimble enough to seize the opportunities that come their way. They want their daughters to get advanced degrees, and to be able to take that plumb assignment in Geneva or that great volunteer opportunity traveling with the Romney campaign. An early marriage is not seen as a source of stability, but as an impediment to their upward mobility.

    Implicit in this advice is the idea that their daughters will not be delaying sex until marriage – or even until serious commitment.

  3. marilynn says:

    WOW did you write that? Wow. Frame that. Your too cool.