While I was talking with a young woman named Candace whose father was never involved in her life, it struck me how the work of people like David Blankenhorn (Fatherless America) and Elizabeth Marquardt (Between Two Worlds) matters. I bet that 20 years ago—in the days of Murphy Brown—it wasn’t necessarily popular to express the opinion that a girl needs a father. Today, however, it seems like common knowledge, at least to many of the young women who grew up without dads.

 When asked about why a father matters Candace told me, “I don’t know, I really can’t explain that…I’ve read about it so much where girls are like that. And, I mean, I can see it so much, too, because it’s just…I’ve been through that, too, so I agree with it. I’m not sure why it is, it’s just the way it is…I think it’s like a general understanding, you would say.”

 For example, in the stack of Cosmo magazines that sit atop Candace’s coffee table, you can read articles about the need for father figures. Popular TV shows also convey this message: “On CSI they’re like, ‘Oh, this girl didn’t have a daddy.’ And they say that about strippers a lot, too. Like, where was her father figure?” 

 Candace has also seen this in the lives of her friends, who often date guys that cheat on them and are generally disrespectful. Candace explains why she thinks one friend is still with her two-timing boyfriend: “I think her dad wasn’t like…she didn’t have a really strong father figure. And I can see that, because my ex-boyfriend was like that. And I didn’t have a dad and I just wanted a guy around and like I attached to him. But I knew when to break it off.”

 Sadly, many of her fatherless friends don’t.

Categories: General

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