Regarding Elizabeth’s post below:   Being called a bigot over this issue – even by people whom I consider to be ninnies, such as Frank Rich – has been one of the most painful experiences of my life.   On the other hand, I suppose that people like me should admit a couple of things. 

The first is that there is a lot of genuine anti-gay bigotry out there, including within the movement to oppose gay marriage.  By anti-gay bigotry, I mean the expressed belief that homosexuals deserve our contempt and are the fair objects of ridicule.  It’s there, and it helps to fuel opposition to gay marriage.  I wish this weren’t true, but it is, and I don’t think that this fact is disputable on an empirical basis. So while I certainly don’t like being called a bigot, I suspect that many gay advocates of same-sex marriage have been called names at least as ugly as “bigot” far more times than I have ever or will ever be called ”bigot.” 

The second thing is that the tactic works.  It ends conversation.  It divides the world into the decent people and the evil people,  and in that way silences most anyone with a dissenting view who might not like to be publicly called out as an evil person.  At the Prop 8 trail in San Francisco, there should have been dozens of experts with Ph.D.’s and high-toned academic affiliations on the stand saying what they believe to be true about the meaning and importance of marriage.  But they weren’t there.  They took a pass because they did not want to be called bigots.  The tactic works. 

About 20 minutes ago, walking to work, I passed a young man on the sidewalk who was asking passers-by to sign his petition to support gay marriage.  He watched me walking toward him, made good eye contact, and asked, “Sir, do you support gay rights?”  I walked by, wordlessly, embarassed, sad, frustrated.  He gave me his sincerest smile, and said, “Have a nice day.”

Categories: General

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