Writer and reporter, Kristina Cowan, writes at her blog on her responses to the recent Does the Shape of Families Shape Faith? report. As a Gen Xer she shares that she really didn’t think about the impact of her parent’s divorce until she got married:
“In a piece in The Atlantic, Amy Ziettlow, one of the report’s co-authors, raises other key points. Most children of divorce don’t understand what separated their parents. We might treat our friends like family. And we may grapple with how to build trust. “Scholars are finding that the legacy of divorce echoes throughout a child’s entire life story and, as my young daughter reminded me, for these children and for our culture, the story is sad.”
Most of the findings and statements above are true for me. I didn’t realize how deep my divorce wounds were until I was married. I’ve struggled to trust my husband. I trust my friends more than anyone–especially those from college, a time when I regained, through them, a sense of family. My close cadre of college friends became my domestic church, as the report suggests. As I mentioned in my last post, my parents’ shattered union is still a mystery.
I’ve long been challenged to find a church that feels like home. There are two exceptions. The tiny church in Arlington, Va., where I was married, and the massive Moody Church in Chicago. They’re markedly different places. But both offered me a sense of acceptance and unconditional love. I’m still hesitant to get involved, to trust and worship in these formal institutions. I suspect that part of this trouble stems from the fact that I didn’t spend much time in church with an intact family. The time I did spend was with my mom and her friends, mostly post-divorce….” Read More…
The previous post she writes concerning her mother’s death is also quite powerful.
She is currently working on a project exploring women who faced a difficult time transitioning into motherhood. She is conducting a survey, it’s anonymous unless you would like for her to contact you, and here is the link.