Another story from an active sperm donor at AnonymousUs.org:
Certified as a teacher, principal, and superintendent, I currently work as an officer of the court, private investigator, and deception expert. I have worked on two master’s degree programs and have completed my doctoral degree. If time permits, I may eventually teach part time at a college or university, but right now there is no space in my schedule for it. I greatly enjoy my work and do not care if others know I am a sperm donor.
Originally born in Oklahoma City in the United States of America, I have traveled to over fourty different countries and have lived in Estonia, India, Mexico, and China. I have also lived in Texas and Alaska, and I currently reside in Edmond, Oklahoma. The opportunity I have had to travel has broadened my horizons and has made me more open to the idea of donating sperm to singles and couples. Indeed, I first began donating back in 2009 while living in China.
I always inform potential recipients that I have no sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and I test regularly and show them the results. Since I only donate via artificial insemination (AI), that pretty much ensures that I do not get diseases or pass them on to others. This is especially important, since I am happily married, which seems to also put recipients at ease. Of course, my wife knows about everything and supports my endeavor to help others, too, and she is monogamous.
It is also important that people to whom I donate know that I have no criminal history and am a vegetarian. I really take care of my health, as this is very important to me for many reasons. Health is indeed wealth, and it is important that I keep my body and thus sperm healthy. I take great care never to go into hot tubs, do not drink or smoke, etc. It is also important that I keep myself healthy, as I have a wife, parents, siblings, and several kids of my own who rely upon me.
Whenever I donate sperm to recipients, I do not discriminate against them because of their age – except in such cases where their chances of conceiving are very small or nonexistent, weight, sexual orientation, height, transgendered status, race, ethnicity, nationality, veteran status, marital status, political affiliations, religious beliefs or the lack thereof, etc. I have a “live and let live” policy per se, and that seems to suit many people just fine. I do wish, however, that all recipients will raise their kids to be open-minded, loving individuals.
I have always been open to being a known donor. I am perfectly fine if any of the kids I help conceive contact me via SKYPE, e-mail, regular mail, via Facebook, telephone, web camera, or in person. I believe that it is great if the kids born from my sperm and the recipients’ eggs know about me. Most recipients and I have agreed that the kids will know by at least the time they are eighteen, but all recipients seem to want something different.
Some people I help want me to put my name on the birth certificate and to have the child and my kids contact each other at any time. Indeed, some of the people I have helped and I have grown so close that they even have keys to my house. Our kids will play together and we will all get together for certain holidays and other times. I love it! This is always the very best scenario for me.
Other individuals I help do not want the child(ren) to know anything until they are eighteen years of age. They want to keep things more private, and this is fine with me. I wish they would tell their kids right away, and I am perfectly fine if they ever change their minds and want their kids to seek me out earlier.
A few couples who are male/female couples want to put the husband’s name on the birth certificate and just tell the child that he or she is the husband’s son or daughter. This is a little different and, I suppose, deceptive to the kids. However, if this brings such great joy and happiness to the couple and the kids have wonderful, loving, kind parents, then so be it.
I know that couples can break up, and that there is always the possibility that the birth mummy will tell her child(ren) that her husband or perhaps ex-husband is not his/her/their “real” daddy. I have no control over such things, but I just want everyone to be happy and healthy.
I will not donate to sperm banks, as they sell sperm in much the same way as international adoption centers sell kids born overseas. I know how much money some couples who went the sperm bank route spent each time they tried, and it was so much! Couples have told me, “We were spending so much money on this each time and could only try once every several months. Now that we found you, we can try each month for much less!”
Hearing what you had to say on this website has made me think a great deal about the donation process and its effects on the kids born from sperm donation. As far as I know, two mummies or two daddies can raise the kids just as well as a mummy and a daddy can. However, I suppose my situation and the way I help others is different than kids who are conceived through a sperm bank. I suppose it is also different, as I am willing to be known at any time to any child I help conceive. However, questions now loom on my mind.
After listening what has been said on this website and after doing a bit of other research, I ask myself several things. “What would it be like to grow up not knowing my daddy?” is one such question. Also, I would wonder how many siblings I have out there. I do try to help recipients I have helped who want to make things known connect with each other, so as to help each child get a better sense of his or her roots and identity. Nevertheless, my heart and sympathy go out to those who will never know who their father was or who their siblings might be.
I suppose this debate will continue for some time to come, but I hope that all kids I help through donating are happy, healthy, and may, if they so desire, know that I helped conceive them. I never hide who I am, and I am readily found on Facebook and through a simple Google search. I hope that sperm banks are required to tell kids who their father is, like Great Britain has since done. I commend the discussions this website is promoting, and I hope that it brings about changes which will benefit the kids born from all sperm donations.