When you were looking/do look for a person to commit to for better or worse, for richer or poorer, until death do you part – did you/do you clearly think about your choice as a decision to pick a father or mother?
A young woman that my wife interviewed for the Love and Marriage in Middle America project told her that,“Even though at the time I really hadn’t picked him [her now husband] as a father, he just kind of became the father. Now looking at things, he would be the type of person I’d pick to father my kids.”
It got me to thinking back to my courting years, and the degree to which that question was clearly on my mind.
It’s all kind of fuzzy, but I think I mostly thought about it as choosing a spouse with whom I would enjoy the rest of my days. I remember when I learned that Amber was looking forward to be a mother, and how much of a positive impression that made on me (that she wanted to raise a family was something important for me).
But mostly, I think, what was on the forefront of my mind was Amber as she appeared to me in 2008, how beautiful she was, her character, and how much I hoped to marry her. I don’t think I was clearly thinking about my decision as “picking a mother” for any future children that should come. Or if I did, I never articulated those words to myself.