Week of April 9, 2011
Courtesy of Bill Coffin
1. Erich Fromm on Making Love, Psychology Today
Here’s the thing; the problem of modernity is also its strength – a powerful sense of the individual. What’s good for me reigns king. A sane modern society encourages individuals to individuate and thrive – while imposing little on others. The rub is that while this sounds good in theory; love, family and community can get lost in the translation.
2. The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage, New York Times
WHEN researchers ask cohabitors these questions, partners often have different, unspoken — even unconscious — agendas. Women are more likely to view cohabitation as a step toward marriage, while men are more likely to see it as a way to test a relationship or postpone commitment, and this gender asymmetry is associated with negative interactions and lower levels of commitment even after the relationship progresses to marriage.
3. Military Marriages Show Surprising Resilience through Deployment, The News Tribune
Military divorce rates have climbed only gradually in recent years and, according to a report in the Journal of Family Issues this month, have not exceeded the rate of broken marriages reported among civilian peers. Competitive wartime pay, extra allowances for being married in service and family support programs could be factors. Another might be the respect service people hold toward institutions in general, including marriage.
Research demonstrates that father absence is associated with higher rates of child abuse and neglect. Boyfriends of the mother in single-mother households were responsible for 67% of the reported cases of child abuse. . .In addition, children who live in father-absent homes are at 77% greater risk of being physically abused and 120% more likely to be endangered by maltreatment.
5. Eight Signs of a Healthy Relationship, WebMD
4. Secure base: You both feel supported as you explore your individual goals outside of the relationship. It’s important, however, that the activities are not destructive to the relationship, such as a spouse being so involved in a hobby that he or she has no time for the marriage.
6. Love Is Walking Hand In Hand: The Peanuts Gang Defines Love, 1965, Brain Pickings
- Love is being happy knowing that she’s happy… but that isn’t so easy.
- Love is meeting someone by the pencil sharpener
- Love is committing yourself in writing . . .
7. Fatherhood Quotes, GoodReads
“Abba is not Hebrew, the language of liturgy, but Aramaic, the language of home and everyday life … Abba is the intimate word of a family circle where that obedient reverence was at the heart of the relationship, whereas Daddy is the familiar word of a family circle from which all thoughts of reverence and obedience have largely disappeared … The best English translation of Abba is simply ‘Dear Father.” ― Thomas A. Smail, The Forgotten Father
For more, see here.