In a novel I read recently and already cited from below, there was another phrase that keeps coming back to me. The writer refers, almost in passing, to the “simple somersault by which a young girl becomes a wife and mother…”
I can’t get it out of my head, I think because although the novel was written fairly recently, in France, it seems to evoke the assumptions of an earlier era. Yes, for most, to become a mother is pretty simple (and perhaps, for some, even involves some gymnastics). But for so many young people the institutional framework that propelled them into marriage has weakened considerably or all but disappeared. For these young women, motherhood may well happen sooner or later, but marriage is elusive.
It is hard, now, to wake up and find yourself married. In some ways that is probably a good thing. But it also means that fewer and fewer people are doing it. They are left, circling in midair, contending with the emotional landscape of human relationships in a setting drained of the structures and meanings that help the rest of us muddle through and even, at times, achieve happiness.
Categories: Marriage
