I was streaming an episode of my favorite TV series, Parenthood, when I was struck by the dilemma of one of the main characters. In episode 13, Lost & Found, Peter Krause plays Adam Braverman, a smart, capable dad married to the lovely Kristina (Monica Potter). Adam is the eldest and most responsible son of four fully grown children. He has two sisters, one being a single mom raising two teenagers, Drew and Amber, by herself.

His sister, the single mom, moves out of her comfort zone to approach Adam about coaching her son Drew for a baseball try-out. Adam is his uncle. He seems like an obvious shoe-in as the primary male to step in and help Drew master his sport of choice. We should expect Adam to get the coaching he deserves from an uncle who loves him, right?

But it’s not that easy.

His sister has a bad reputation within the family and his wife feels threatened by Adam choosing to spend time with his nephew when there are substantial problems already within his nuclear family, his primary family. As Drew cuts off an argument to head out the door he says, “Hey, I’ve gotta go. I’m late for Drew. I’ve got to help him with his baseball try-outs.” His wife Kristina says, “Oh, that’s so awesome honey. Why don’t you focus on our family right now?”

So even moms with a lot of brothers and positive male “figures” around may experience incredible struggle in the big effort to find male role-models and mentors for their kids. Essentially, fatherless kids are made to beg for time and attention from other people’s fathers. And the families of those other people’s fathers don’t appreciate having the time and attention of their beloved patriarch stolen away by a less important intruder.

So good, present dads are overwhelmed, and all the kids get cheated.

Categories: General

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