I know its our responsibility as adults to take the reigns of our own well-being, find the joy, find our purpose, and go after it aggressively, so as not to be totally consumed by the tragedy of a lost parent.

for me, before I found people like you, and family scholars, and other DC kids, I thought that I was just crazy- being so alienated by a loss I couldn’t share with my peers (nor my family!).

We’ve got to keep telling our stories so that others in our situation know that they’re not going insane by qualifying a lost parent as negative.

Glad it was a good one.

Just this morning I was pondering the meaning of (my) life. Soon I will celebrate my 65th birthday. Having just been to the funeral of a loved old friend who died aged 68, birthdays are no longer taken for granted!

Like you Alana, I am living my life with only half of my genealogical history known to me. As an adult child of war and adoption, I lived the first 25 years of my life with a total loss of personal history. Meeting my first mother gave me one half of that lost heritage; however, she was opposed to me knowing the identity of my father. I believe he was a US serviceman posted to the Pacific region of WW2 conflict.

I wish so much that the circumstances of my conception had been different. That my parents had loved each other (and me) and we had been able to share our lives together. Without any shadow of doubt my first father is unaware of my existence. However, I know he exists (or existed) and will, until the end of my life, feel deep sorrow that I was denied the opportunity to know him and his (my!) kin. It is possible of course that I am his only descendant; he may well have lost his young life in battle. So my children (his grandchildren); my grandchildren (his g-grandchildren) may be all that remains of his life on this earth.

This is my/our loss and we are constantly told to trivialise or ignore its meaning in our lives.

I would not wish to be a person who disregards a loss of this magnitude.

Very nice.