I can’t make a strong case, right here, right now, but I was talking with some colleagues today about the difference in the cultural approach to sperm vs. eggs. All over the culture we hear about vials of sperm, jokes about sperm, fatherhood reduced to sperm, and, while I can’t list a bunch of examples immediately, a general tone of sperm as funny, yucky, gross, but somehow necessary to make a baby.
The egg dialog is entirely different. There are some egg jokes, but not many. A kind of reverence enters the equation when people talk about eggs. They slow down a little. They’re not laughing.
Why is this? Yes, the eggs are much harder to retrieve than the sperm. Yes, the retrieval process of eggs is in no way pleasurable, in contrast to sperm retrieval. But I don’t think that’s the only thing going on. Beneath it all, I think it has something to do with how we value (exalt, even) motherhood, but we’ve reduced fatherhood to fragments, meaningful only when we’re trying to guilt a guy about not changing diapers, taking time off work for the soccer game, or sending child support.
Or maybe something entirely different is going on.
Categories: Fatherhood, Motherhood, My Daddy's Name is Donor, Reproductive Technologies
I think another reason why eggs may be viewed more highly than sperm is just sheer numbers. Human eggs are finite in number and have a “shelf life” whereas sperm is created by the millions throughout a male’s lifetime. I do think you are on to something when it comes to motherhood being viewed as more exalted than fatherhood. Fact is we all are more fragmented when left to ourselves. We (mothers and fathers) will always be better together than apart – for each other and the children…at least in my humble opinion.
BTW: I just stumbled across the blog tonight after not visiting for sometime. I am thrilled to see that you’ve opened the comments section back up! I hope the others who use to contribute lively and informative comments return as well.